


Not quite a poem

by IfArsonWasLegal



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst and Feels, Anorexia, Denial of Feelings, Don't Try This At Home, Dorks in Love, Falling In Love, Family Feels, Feelings, Friendship/Love, Gay, Happy, Hate Speech, Hobbies, Inspired by Music, It's Hard and Nobody Understands, Love, Love/Hate, Music, Musical References, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Please Don't Hate Me, Poor Life Choices, Rants, Real Life, Sad, Slice of Life, Tags Are Hard, Tears, Unrequited Love, Useless Lesbians, Violence, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, What Have I Done, What Was I Thinking?, What-If, Why Did I Write This?, angry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:35:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25949689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IfArsonWasLegal/pseuds/IfArsonWasLegal
Summary: Spoken poetry and the feelings it causes. This is almost rant posting to get it off my chest because I doubt people will read this. Emotions are valid and you might relate to some of the chapters.
Kudos: 3





	1. Can't hate you

**Author's Note:**

> Can you really hate someone you love?

I want to hate you.

I want to burn down this place and maybe- just maybe- the pain and sorrow will go up in flames too.

I want to hate you but I can’t.

How do you hate someone you love? Do you even really hate them? 

Sure they make snide comments and hurt your feelings but when is the last time you let them know how you were. 

Did you tell them that it hurts? The little faith, the disappointments, the “I’m too busy to help you but you can put down what you are doing and help me.”

It makes me want to hate you but it doesn’t. 

You took care of me. You were once really amazing to me and some days you still are. 

I get it you’re very busy and don't have time to help and you need all the help you can get. 

When you were left on your own with us I had to step up and help. Get them up and dressed, make sure they eat, and are ready to go. You had to get the little one ready. 

Everything done was for us but you exhausted yourself and I understand but lately, the comments hit a little too close just like your voice. 

I want to hate you for teaching me to flinch. I want to hate you for what you have given me and told me to be grateful for it when all it did was hurt me. 

You don't sugar coat life. You hand me the lemon and tell me to take it without it, it will be better that way. 

I want to hate that you accept others but not me. But then again do you really accept them too or is it because they aren't a part of your life?

You love me because of what I am but do you love me for who I am?

I want to hate you. I want too but you have done so much I can't.


	2. I'm Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nobody believes those words when they matter the most.

I'm sorry.

These are very broken words. 

Used in so many situations that they are passed on as just an excuse, however an excuse no one seems to understand.

When you feel like your entire world has crumbled down and all you can respond with is “I'm sorry” but yet people don't take I'm sorry for some reason.

I never meant to disappoint you.

I'm sorry I'm this way. 

I never meant to lead you on I'm sorry.

I never meant to break your heart the way I did yet somehow I'm sorry doesn't seem to fit. 

You tell me it's okay and I know it's not. 

When we are young we are told its the best for you can ever say.

When we're older and we say it admitting we're wrong and people think it's the greatest thing on Earth. 

However, when we say it when we hurt someone they don't take it as we mean it. They take it as it's just an excuse. 

When I say I am sorry I mean it down to the deepest of my heart that I hurt you that way. 

I never meant to be your disappointment. 

I never meant to break your heart. 

I never meant for any of this.

I'm sorry. 

I'm sorry you feel that way.

I am sorry that you had to go through something like that. 

I am sorry, but of course, I'm sorry isn't the answer.


End file.
